IN THE NAME OF ALLAH MOST GRACIOUS MOST MERCIFUL
AL – NOOR MASJID, ICICE, WUSE II, ABUJA
Jumu’ah Khutbah Translation 28th Muharram, 1444AH, Equivalent to 26th August 2022
VIOLATIONS IN MARRIAGE CELEBRATIONS
All praise is due to Allah, we seek His help and forgiveness, we seek refuge with Him from the evils of ourselves and the evils of our deeds. Whoever Allah guides cannot be misguided by anyone and whoever Allah sets astray cannot be guided by anyone. I bear witness that none deserves the right to be worshiped except Allah alone who Has no partner and I bear witness that our master Muhammad is His servant and messenger.
I task you and myself to be conscious of Allah the exalted, that’s the command of Allah to humankind, Allah says: “We have commanded those given the Scripture before you, as well as you, to be mindful of Allah.” [04:131]
Servants of Allah, in a time when we are engulfed by waves of strife, when evil has become widespread, when torrents of lusts, distractions, and temptations are so powerful, coming through channels, movies and music. All these combined have illuminated the flames of lusts in a lot of people and already a lot of our young people, including the older ones have fallen into the traps of agents of evil and immorality.
In this period, every responsible person is happy whenever he/she sees the nest of happiness is built; that’s when a man introduces himself to marry a lady. We are talking about the building block of families through which Allah has blessed us. It is that institution which our noble messenger (peace be upon him) called our youth to embrace.
Marriage is a great sign among the signs of Allah, through it evil is cut, purity is spread, chastity is guarded, and gaze is lowered. Allah says: “And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.” [30:21]
Marriage is the tradition of prophets and messengers, and it is the path of the believers.
Bukhari and Muslim narrated a Hadith by Ibn Masud (May Allah be pleased with him), he said: The messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.”
Imam Ahmad (May Allah have mercy upon him) was asked: What do you say about getting married in this era (meaning; his time)? He replied: “In an era like this one, a man should get married”. He added: How I wish when he marries two, he will be safe. Someone is always wary to look around for the fear of his deeds getting nullified (meaning: because of what he sees of lusts around)! If this was during the precious time of Imam Ahmad, what do we say in this era of ours!
We witness a lot of marriages throughout the year, this is indeed something to thank Allah for. We ask Allah to bless and guide each couple.
Marriage gathering is a blessed gathering and wedding walimah is a prophetic tradition, which whoever is invited must attend.
Despite the fact that marriage is a blessing among the great blessings from Allah, it is surrounded by violations that contaminate that purity. These violations remove the blessings that are meant to be in marriages and ruin the expected outcome, changing it to strife and catastrophe.
Among these violations is: Raising dowries and marriage expenses
Getting married in the past and recently has been among the easiest things, then it turned to being among the most difficult things nowadays; that’s because we have imposed upon ourselves some cultures and formalities, we have overburdened ourselves with Bid’ah (innovation) which Allah has not commanded. Marriage these days is surrounded by the shackles of pride, arrogance and ostentation, we have done that until Halal (marriage) became difficult.
You can say the same about exaggeration and extravagance in wedding celebrations starting from exorbitant IVs to reception halls and what happens in there of arrogance and bragging, so also, extravagance in food and drinks that you can’t guarantee where they end up.
We should be conscious of Allah and fear the expulsion of his bounties and the sudden descent of his wrath. Allah says: “O Children of Adam! Dress properly whenever you are at worship. Eat and drink, but do not waste. Surely, He does not like the wasteful.” And he says: “And do not spend wastefully. Surely the wasteful are ˹like˺ brothers to the devils. And the Devil is ever ungrateful to his Lord.” [17:26-27].
Another violation is: Wearing the attire of shame by some women
Different devilish styles are seen during our occasions, some are transparent, others are short, some are tight showing the body parts, and so on. Their excuse is always: that’s fashion and style and that’s the modern way. Subhanallah! Are these women not aware of what the messenger peace be upon him said! He said in the Hadith of Abu Huraira which is in Sahih Muslim: “Two are the types of the inhabitants of Hell whom I did not see” and he mentioned: “the women who would be dressed but appear to be naked, who would be inclined (to evil) and make their husbands incline towards it. Their heads would be like the humps of the bukht camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Paradise and they would not smell its odor”
Also, it has become visible in our celebrations that women imitate non-Muslims in their attire, and at times they imitate prostitutes in their dressing, the messenger (peace be upon him) said: “He who copies any people is one of them.”
Another violation is: Shaving what is forbidden to be shaved like shaving of the eyebrow by some women, this is what is referred to as Nams as termed by the messenger (peace be upon him), an authentic hadith was narrated in Bukhari and Muslim that Ibn Mas’ud reported that messenger peace be upon him cursed those women that pluck hair of their eyebrows.
It is part of this prohibition also for a man to shave his beard in the quest for handsomeness or to look younger, the most handsome man is the messenger peace be upon him and he was bearded. He said in an authentic Hadith: “Trim closely the moustache and grow beard”.
Another violation is: Women wear perfumes to go to such occasions, they wear strong perfumes and mingle with men. The messenger (peace be upon him) forbade coming to the mosque by women who wear perfume to come to the mosque, so what if she goes to other than the mosque! Indeed, it becomes more heinous.
Another violation is: Snapping pictures and videos by women themselves or hired photographers which then are uploaded on social media. Such videos and pictures have caused a lot of catastrophes, they have spoilt a lot of families, they have caused a lot of divorce and a lot of privacy has been opened simply because the blessing in such marriages have been expelled.
Some men might have seen a video of their wives being shared by social media users, how great is this catastrophe! How can a sensible person allow his wife or wards to be featured in such contents! Where is jealousy! Are our hearts dead!
Another violation is: what we see nowadays of the evil mingling between men and women at wedding receptions and celebrations. The couple or prospective couple sit on a podium, and maybe the bride wears a shameful dress that reveals her Aura (private parts), and everyone is looking at her half naked. In this tragic scene, you often see parents seated comfortably in a corner, they witness their sons and daughters dance before this hefty congregation, the groom might even touch his bride before everyone in a shameful way. What is this tribulation that has befallen us! Where is your jealousy O parents and guardians! Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un… O Allah don’t punish us for the ill doings of the fools among us.
Another violation is: bragging and show off among families in their celebrations, you will find our youth on various social media platforms setting up ratings on the most opulent weddings of the year… their yardstick for successful marriage is inversed because they are concerned more about the celebration than the matrimonial life after the wedding.
Another sort of violation is: playing music composed of vulgar wordings using forbidden instruments. We often see people play such irresponsible music that people dance to shamelessly regardless of gender or age.
It is ingrained in the Islamic law that listening to such music is Haram, Allah says addressing the devil: “And incite whoever you can of them with your voice, mobilize against them all your cavalry and infantry, manipulate them in their wealth and children, and make them promises.” But Satan promises them nothing but delusion.” [17:64] Mujahid translated Satan’s voice mentioned in the above verse as play and music.
Allah also says: “But there are some who buy the amusement of speech, only to lead others away from Allah’s Way—without any knowledge—and to make a mockery of it. They will suffer a humiliating punishment.” [31:06] Ibnu Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with him) said: “Wallahi it is (meaning: amusement of speech mentioned in the verse) music, and that’s what Ibnu Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said, so also Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him), Ikrima, Sa’eed Ibnu Jubair, Mujahid and many others among the Tabi’een.
Music leads to hypocrisy in the heart, and it is a messenger for fornication and adultery. What is binding upon Muslims, therefore, is to abstain from this evil that has become widespread. You find that almost in every place and home. Allah in his wisdom has made it permissible for women during wedding celebrations and festivities to beat drums and sing songs that are honorable and not vulgar. So that’s an alternative.
On a final note, this is a message to fathers and guardians of brides and many other women to fear Allah in the trust given to them by Allah to take care of their women, to make sure that they don’t go astray in the way they cover themselves (Hijab) and to make them shy away from immorality. Brothers and sisters, what’s better than conducting our marriages according to the dictates of our religion that we should be proud of. We should be truthful to Allah and thank him for his favors upon us. We should be asking him the exalted to shower us with his blessings, happiness and success for our couples in their new life, because they direly need that. Let’s not do sinful things during our celebrations that will rather cause the destruction of their homes.
May Allah guides us aright.